Whispers of Grace and Still Small Voices (In Memory of Earl Lauder)

Sometimes we have these gentle nudges that are so, so easy to ignore. I had one of those nudges about 4 weeks ago. I had a day off and was wondering what Paula and I could do? This nudge/small voice/whisper of grace ran through my head that I should go see my cousin Earl. We hadn’t seen Earl and Terri for almost a year.

Terri is my cousin. She married Earl. The Clark side of the family never used to see each other much but that had changed over the past decade. Earl had done quite a bit of work on The Sanctuary (our church/home/Bed and Breakfast) when we bought it. Earl and Terri adopted our Bernese Mountain Dog - Wesley - when we couldn’t keep him any longer. We had become family.

So . . . we went to see Earl and Terri. Von, who also goes by Pete and Rocky (don’t ask), and his wife came over along with my aunt who we had picked up and we all hung out and had pizza together.  After pizza, Earl took me out to his garage to show me his restored tractors and all the projects he was working on. He restores old tractors and golf carts with custom paint jobs. 

After a few hours, we took my aunt back home and headed back to our home. It had been one of those really good family days!

Fast forward a couple weeks to 11 days ago . . . Earl is rushed to the hospital where he ends up on a ventilator. His heart is only working at a 15% capacity. Earl never goes back home. Earl is gone. He dies 11 days after being taken to the hospital and just 4 weeks after we had pizza together and walked around his garage.

I sit here wondering what I would be feeling right now if I had shrugged off that gentle nudge, that still small voice, that whisper of grace. Anger? Guilt? Frustration? For sure . . . and much more.

Instead, I am thankful that The Spirit whispered a word of grace into my spirit that gave me one last meal with Earl; one last sharing of stories, laughter, and love; one last sweet memory. 

How many still small voices have I failed to hear? What will the next whisper and nudge be? And will I hear it and respond? Please Lord, don’t let me get to busy and too self-absorbed to feel the nudges and hear the whispers of your grace in my life.

(In memory of Earl Lauder)